I Tried Pheromone Perfume To Increase My Sex Appeal

Sure, I smelled like a dead muskrat, but I was utterly irresistible

If articles came with scratch n’ sniff options, you would be having sexy thoughts right now. That’s the power of my new pheromone perfume. It makes me utterly irresistible.

I know what you are thinking. You are not even sure you like me enough to keep reading, let alone take a whiff of my pheromone-laden neck. I might think the same if someone made such boasts. But boasting is always one side of the insecurity coin toss.

Like many women, I tend to buy more beauty products (and vibrators) when I am in a confidence rut. I was in such a rut.

I had been dating Marc* for six months, and I could tell he wasn’t signing up for my program…yet. (And by “program,” I mean fun-loving artist with a proclivity to try wacky shit the internet promises will turn me into a hardcore she-devil.)

Pheromone perfumes have been trending lately, but the research behind them is dubious. Pheromones are basically the undetectable chemical substances emitted by mammals and insects that change the behavior of another species. Usually, pheromones trigger sexual arousal, but they can also trigger hunger, a fight-or-flight response, or aggression.

I was hoping for some sexy time. According to the ad copy, this perfume was “designed to specifically target a men’s attraction receptors within his brain.”

When the perfume arrived, I found the scent nauseating. It had that overpowering musky, vanilla scent one smells in cheap, carcinogenic perfumes. But the bottle promised to interact with “your natural chemistry” to attract the opposite sex. So…

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