3 Types of Boundaries to Boost Your Mental Health

Ditch icky resentments and grow peaceful happiness

Life is too short to be hanging out with negative people — even if they’re family. Sarcasm, pessimism, cynicism, one-upping, constant complaining, chronic discontent, blamey, shamey, judgey, negative influences.

Most forms of negativity are trauma responses, vulnerability avoidance tactics, or some kind of maladaptive coping mechanism. Botched attempts at protecting themselves or getting their needs met by any means necessary.

People do this because they don’t know any better. It’s not your job to fix them, but it’s also not your job to tolerate their horse shit.

The following is an exercise you can use to improve the quality of your relationships and thus the quality of your life.

Open a notebook or a word document. List the people in your life — friends, family, neighbors, coworkers, or anyone you see, talk to, or spend time with regularly.

Next to each name, indicate if your relationship is positive — you enjoy spending time with them, neutral — time with them is kinda meh, or negative — you do not enjoy spending time together.

And remember to assess them now as they actually are in your life today — not as the super great friend they were 20 years ago. It ain’t 20 years ago anymore. Get brutally honest with yourself.

Spend more time with the positive people, and for the neutrals and negatives, do the following as you see fit:

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