Working Holiday Retail Years After Getting a Degree

While stocking cookie shelves at my seasonal job, one of my younger co-workers asked me whether I was still in school. “Nah… finished a long time ago” I told her.

Mandatory follow-up question: “Wait… how old are you?”

“Uhh… 29” I hesitated, almost as if I didn’t believe my own answer.

“Really? Wow… Well, you have great genetics.”

I blushed, and tensed up a bit. I’m not too comfortable with the idea of “good genetics”, but that’s besides the point. The conversation continued…

“Where’d you go to school?” she asked.

“I went to UCLA, graduated back in 2013…”

“No way — that’s my dream school!”

Feeling a little self-absorbed at this point, I reddened a bit more after hearing that. For some reason, revealing these basic details about my life felt unusually vulnerable. Sometimes it’s easier to hide behind my appearance and let everyone think it’s my first job ever, because the truth’s been a little bit harder for me to accept…

Since taking up the job, I’ve had mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m glad to work away from the computer and finally have co-workers for a change (something to contrast with my remote freelance work).

At the same time, there’s no denying that, according to our cultural expectations, someone who’s had a college degree for this long probably shouldn’t be working a non-managerial job in retail. (Not that I think I’m “too good” for it, but that it’d be a misuse of my education). As optimistic as I’m trying to be about the situation, I’ve had lingering thoughts that I should’ve been doing this type of work about a decade ago.

… But that also seems pretty condescending to everyone I’m working with who’s older than me , and I know I wouldn’t judge them the same way I’ve been judging myself. In any case, I’m continually reminding myself that my current circumstances won’t be my end-all, and that whether or not people can see it, I have been making progress over the years.

This conversation was just a minor instance, but it was indicative of a larger tendency I’ve had to pull away from people due to my career insecurities. I definitely haven’t been posting on social media as much as I used to (going as far as to disable my Facebook Newsfeed), for largely the same reason. But when I withhold what’s really going on for me, I give up the possibility of making connections with the people around me.

When I feel into what’s actually like to be at work, it’s easy to think of a few positives about the job. It’s fun to finally have a few co-workers around me, discover all their quirks, and feel like I’m a part of something. I’ve also been enjoying the simple fulfillment that comes from helping customers find products… Not what I thought I’d be doing at this point, but when I look at the bigger picture, I can see how this is a step forward.

It might’ve felt like a long time in the making, but I’m finally starting to embrace a world I’ve been afraid to be a part of. If helping customers find their marzipan for the holidays is what it takes to pull myself out of a slump, then so be it. From that perspective I can see that being in this job at this point isn’t a problem to be solved, but rather a chapter in life to be experienced.

At the very least, I can finally say I’m using my Anthropology degree when I’m stocking shelves at World Market ;)

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